Tagged: Absurd Agonies

Critters – review

Critters, Critters, Critters, those little mother fuckers that just want to be Gremlins. Well, you aint Gremlins you fucks, you are space hedgehogs and that’s just the way it is gonna have to be. For...

Twilight – review

Grrr!!! Fucking Vampire!!!  RAAAAR!!!! Here I am, I am gonna fucking kill you!!!!  I am about to pick out your urethra and thread it through your sodding nipples, and wear it like a neck ornament!!! ...

Expendables – review

I would never have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own two fucking eyes.  A movie with so many hunks in it that you could smell the god damn testosterone dripping...

Cannibal Holocaust – review

If things were not going right for me in my current career, one of the other careers that I always considered was being a cannibal.  Chewing on some faces, cutting heads.  Luring a nice,...

Zelda Halopile in the woods

Guts of a Virgin – review

  Back in the days of my youth there was no internet.  Nope.  No internet.  DVDs and CDs were nothing more than crazy talk.  It was all about the cassette (video or… tapeo) or...

Jake being powered up by Zelda's juices!

Troll 2 – review

When I first saw this movie, I am not sure why, but it scared me.  I am being 100% cereal here, it scared me.  I think the reason it scared me so much was...


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