Guts of a Virgin – review
Back in the days of my youth there was no internet. Nope. No internet. DVDs and CDs were nothing more than crazy talk. It was all about the cassette (video or… tapeo) or vinyl. Although I didn’t do much vinyl.
Through my interest in all that was disturbing I became an avid collector of extreme horror, and this was a time when it was so much more rewarding. Video cassettes being swapped via mail, groups/clubs set up where nobody ever met in person, instead communication was made through Newsletters and epic video lists. If a film was banned I HAD to see it!
These days it is much easier, laws have laxed a little in the UK and, if a film is cut due to the sensitivity of a UK dweller you can order uncut versions via Amazon, or any other online retailer. Even films like Cannibal holocaust or Cannibal Ferox can be ordered, sent out and in a UK humans hands within a few days. I still collect horror from around the world, the more extreme, the more interested I am in it. There are still films out there that are NOT available via your everyday average mail order website and these are fun to hunt out and find.
Being all freaking Japanese or something, the words that the overly animated idiots were saying made NO sense at all! Fucking Japaning at each other like there was no tomorrow. The first time I managed to get my hands on this film it DIDN’T have any fucking subtitles…. but do you know something… it made no difference. Even years later, when I picked up a DVD copy of this film, the subtitles didn’t add anything to this fuck up of a film.
The film starts off with some women getting pictures taken by some Japanese man. He is doing some sex at her and seems happy enough. There is multiple close-ups of knickers. This happens throughout the ENTIRE film. So, that would keep knicker loving MEN happy. Us women had to put up with a few shots of Y-Fronts. Y-Fronts with not much going on behind them…
So, a bunch of photographers go with a bunch of female models to a cabin and they all do sex. One of the best scenes in the movie though is when, for NO reason at all, one of the men starts to wrestle one of the models. I don’t mean a bit of bending and play fighting. Nope. He proper wrestles her. Pile driver, fucking body slams, clothes-line, tombstone, fucking haymaker punch to the chops. Then, the woman starts pissing all through her pants and blacks out…
Meanwhile, there is a man going around that is covered in stinking brown mud and has a massive penis, complete with realist mushroom-tip. I think he is a man. Well, it is never explained. And his penis is about the size of an average torso.
This well endowed thing proceeds to just kill everyone with such compassion I was crying. It was like Madam Butterfly, something that I have not seen. He smashes a bloke in the head with a hammer, his head quickly becoming nothing more than a lump of play dough, his eye flying out before a torrent of blood pours out. Fucking heads are ripped off. A woman, using a severed arm ‘feeds the pony’ if you know what I mean… The mud-penis man then pulls her guts out of her vagina, ruining her mood.
A woman, that ended up instantly fully pregnant after having sex with the giant penis then stand on a mountain and is intrigued by the thing that is inside her.
I enjoyed this film, probably because I like Duran Duran and it reminded me of the Girls on Film video. Also because I like guts.
Watch this film if you like:
Loads of long soft core stuff
Pants and knickers
A penis monster
A van hitting a penis monster
A girl being wrestled for some reason
A movie that is also known as Entrails of a Virgin
I give this movie a massive Penis out of a torn vagina – or 4
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